


11:35

by aesoprock



Series: Aesop's South Park Oneshots [2]
Category: South Park
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, COVID-19, Coronavirus, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff and Angst, Heart Attacks, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Vomiting, randy is insane as per usual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:49:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25474165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aesoprock/pseuds/aesoprock
Summary: Randy has a heart attack, and Stan learns to cope.
Relationships: Kyle Broflovski/Stan Marsh, Randy Marsh/Sharon Marsh
Series: Aesop's South Park Oneshots [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1821925
Comments: 6
Kudos: 33





	11:35

Sharon opened Stan’s bedroom door. “Boys,” she said, her face stern. “Get dressed. Right now.”

Stan’s head shot up from the TV, pausing the game and letting the controller drop in his lap. “Sorry, Mom, I know we’re up late, but we don’t have school until next August because of-”

“I know that you don’t have school. Put your shoes on. Kyle too. Your dad is having a heart attack.”

Stan’s eyes widened. “What? A heart attack? Shouldn’t you call… an ambulance or something?” He stood up and grabbed a pair of socks from his sock drawer. “Wait, is he gonna die?!”

She didn’t answer his question, instead deciding to walk away to comfort her husband. Kyle got up and scrambled to the pile in which he threw his socks, shoes, and other clothes in earlier that day, before Stan gave him a clean set of pajamas. “He’s not going to die, Stan. Most people who have heart attacks go on to live a long time. Like Bernie Sanders.” But Kyle was still worried. His shoes already on, he stood up and watched Stan fumble with his shoelaces.

“Shit, dude,” he mumbled, standing up and walking out of his room. Kyle followed him, frowning.

Sharon and Randy were already downstairs, standing at the door. Once she saw Stan and Kyle coming down the stairs, she opened the door and helped Randy out.

-

“I’m s- I’m sorry, guys. God. God, I can’t do this. I can’t.”

Kyle looked away from Stan and over at Randy, who was sitting in the passenger’s seat.

“I’m s-” Randy said, pausing to pull his shirt up and gag into it. He coughed, then gagged again, and then vomited into his shirt.

“Oh, Randy,” Sharon sighed, her left hand letting go of the wheel to rub his leg. “We’re almost there. It’s gonna be okay. You can hold on.”

Stan stared at his father, looking distraught. Kyle wasn’t sure what he could say or do to help the situation, so he mimicked Sharon by reaching out and putting his hand on Stan’s leg. Stan turned to look at him.

Kyle unbuckled his seatbelt and moved to the seat in the middle so he could be closer to Stan. “It’s alright, he’s not gonna die,” he whispered, putting his arm around Stan’s shoulders. If Sharon or Randy heard what he said, neither of them said anything about it.

“I know, dude. I know. But what if he does?” Stan whispered back, his gaze wandering back to Randy as he puked into his shirt a second time. Surprisingly enough, neither of them could  _ smell  _ the vomit from the back seat, but it was definitely there. Randy’s shirt was soaked.

Sharon repeatedly asked him if he wanted her to pull over to the side of the road so Randy could puke into the bushes. He always denied, said it was fine, said that the sooner they got to the hospital the better. Kyle got lost in his thoughts trying to answer the question that Stan asked.

So what would happen if Randy actually died? Kyle thought maybe a suicide attempt, or another depressive episode, or maybe Stan would succeed in killing himself. A sting started in his left eye, but he blinked it back- Kyle couldn’t have a crying fit right now. He wouldn’t let Stan kill himself. If Randy died, he would skip school for a week straight with Stan while he had time off to grieve and make sure he was taking his pills and eating. Kyle had seen Stan in some very bad times, but those would be nothing compared to grieving for his dead father.

“He won’t. He’ll die one day… but not anytime soon, okay? He’s still young. Really young. And if he ever dies, I’ll help you. I’ll stay with you.”

Stan nodded, but didn’t look convinced. “Okay. Thanks, dude…” he murmured, listening to the steady hum of the car, and the  _ swooosh  _ of cars passing them on the opposing side of the road. Not many people were up at this hour, and South Park didn’t have enough money for streetlights, so it was pitch black outside, minus Sharon’s headlights and the moon’s silver glow. Sometimes the porch lights from houses they passed would flicker off, but that was all.

The car fell silent as Sharon pulled into Hell’s Pass hospital. Pulling up to the front, she opened her door, before running to the other side and helping Randy out. Stan and Kyle followed, watching her assist Randy as they stood in front of the hospital.

Once they got inside, Sharon hastily explained to the lady at the front desk what was going on, and Randy was taken down a dimly-lit hallway.

“Yeah, you guys are… gonna have to wait outside,” the woman in the front desk said, looking bored. She was staring at her computer screen, not even making eye contact with Sharon.

“What? Why?”

The woman glared at Sharon as if she were stupid. “New coronavirus restrictions that were set by the governor last week.”

Sharon groaned and picked up her purse from the flat ledge extending from the front desk. “Fine. At least let me use the bathroom.”

The woman pointed a limp index finger to a group of vending machines in the corner, with male and female bathroom signs hovering above them. Sharon slung her purse around her shoulder and approached them. Stan and Kyle followed. 

As Sharon went into the womens’ room, the two of them stood in front of the vending machines. “This sucks,” Stan muttered, looking down at the tile floor and scuffing his shoe against it. “I’m sorry, Kyle.”

“It’s not your fault his body decided to have a heart attack. Don’t worry about it, okay? He will live.” They were empty words, though- Stan knew Kyle wasn’t able to decide Randy’s fate, let alone his health.

“Yeah. I hope so.” Stan looked away from him, which meant the conversation was over. Kyle stepped closer to Stan, hesitating while he tried to decide if he should hug Stan or not. He decided not.

-

The three of them were back in the car. Sharon pulled around to the parking lot and tried cleaning the seat Randy had sat in. Stan leaned forward to look at the seat, and saw that there wasn’t actually chunks of vomit, only clear bile. He wasn’t sure what was harder to get out.

“Mom? Are you okay?” Stan asked, noticing the tears brimming in her eyes.

She scrubbed harder, watching the little foam bubbles appear on the top of the seat. “Yeah, honey.” Sharon wiped her eyes with the back of her arm. “He’ll be fine. I’ll be fine.”

This didn’t make Stan feel any better. He let his shoulders relax and sat back in his seat, trying to clear his mind, but he couldn’t help worrying about his dad. As annoying as he could be, Stan didn’t want to lose him.

Kyle noticed this, frowning. He leaned closer to Stan and wrapped both of his arms around him in an awkward side hug, deciding he needed it.

Stan hugged back.

-

An hour passed. Sharon left every fifteen minutes to harass the woman in the front desk about Randy’s physical state, but never got any news from her.

Stan closed his eyes and let his head rest against the back seat, and Kyle still had his arms around him, letting his head rest on Stan’s shoulder. 

There was a knock on the window. Stan opened his eyes only to see his mother jump from the front seat and move to roll the window down. It was a nurse.

“Sorry,” the woman giggled sheepishly, as if she  _ weren’t _ talking to a family currently in distress. “Took me a while to find your car. Your husband is being transferred.”

“Transferred?” Sharon demanded, sitting up straight. “To where? Why does he need to be transferred? Is your technology not good enough here?”

She shrugged. “Doctor’s recommendation.”

Sharon sighed and turned the key in the ignition, starting the car again. “Where is he going? And is he okay?

“Breckenridge. Just follow the ambulance when it pulls out, it hasn’t left yet.” The woman started to leave, but she turned around to look at Sharon again. “I legally can’t tell you his physical state. I’m really sorry.”

Furiously shaking her head, Sharon rolled the window back up and pulled out of the parking spot. “Fucking skank. That’s  _ my husband  _ in there, goddamn it!”

“Mom! Chill, you’re driving!”

She sighed, taking the car out of reverse. “You’re right, Stan. Sorry.”

The drive to Breckenridge was only about thirty minutes, but for Stan, it felt like forever. He tried to enjoy the feeling of Kyle’s arms around him, knowing that this would be one of the only times something like this would happen- the two of them used physical affection very sparingly, and when it did happen, he tried to avoid doing it in front of his parents or people from school- but he couldn’t help worrying about his dad. Stan suddenly regretted being rude to him all of those times before, rolling his eyes whenever Randy had a new obsession. Cooking, growing weed, annoying his friends and calling them posers whenever they played Guitar Hero… Stan shouldn’t have scolded him for doing stupid shit or trying to embarrass him. That’s just what fathers did, and now that there was a chance he could be gone forever, and Randy would never have any of those weird hobbies again...

He felt Kyle’s hands wiping something off of his face. Stan had started crying and didn’t even notice it, although there were no sobs, only tears. Kyle was staring at him now, frowning, wiping the tears away. “Dude. He’s gonna live,” Kyle whispered. “Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?”

Stan thought for a moment. “Hold me tighter,” he whispered back.

“Okay.”

-

“Mom! What the hell are you doing?!” Stan yelped, his body stiffening up.

She left before the ambulance did, deciding to follow along with her GPS. “I- shit,” she said, sounding mostly unphased as she put the car in reverse. “Sorry. I didn’t see that I pulled into the wrong lane.”

“We could’ve died!” he went on. “If there was one car going down that lane, we would’ve collided with them, a-”

“But we didn’t, Stan,” she said sternly, pulling into the right lane. “We didn’t. We’re lucky. Listen, I’m panicking, okay? I don’t know my way there, I don’t know where I am! And he’s in the hospital, and we can’t even visit him! We can’t even go in! So why am I going to this stupid fucking hospital in Breckenridge if all we’re going to do is sit in the parking lot and be sad and wish we were at home, in bed? I don’t fucking know!”

Nobody spoke for a while. Sharon pulled into a random driveway. “I’m turning around. There’s no point in driving to that goddamn hospital. Unless you have an objection.”

“No, it’s okay, Mom. You’re right. We’ll be able to pick him up in the morning.”

Kyle had remained silent through all of their bickering, but finally decided to speak up. “No. They’ll want to keep him in there for a week to make sure he doesn’t have another one.”

With another huff, Sharon pulled out of the driveway. “That’s ridiculous. The hospitals are supposed to be sterile anyway so things won’t spread, and we won’t be able to visit him for a goddamned week!?”

“It’s okay, Mom. He’ll call us.”

“He fucking better call!”

-

“I can’t sleep,” Stan murmured, turning on his side to face Kyle.

“Well… are you tired?” He wasn’t able to sleep either, busy worrying about Stan and Randy… mostly Stan, though. If Randy died, Stan would have a really bad spiral, and Kyle didn’t want that. He wanted to prevent it from happening at all costs.

Shaking his head, Stan turned on his bedside lamp. “I can’t stop thinking about him.”

“We could do something. You want to play video games again?” Kyle said, sitting up straight in the bed now. “Are you hungry?”

Stan shook his head. “No… not hungry. Maybe I’ll just take sleeping pills. You want some?”

Kyle sighed. “Those are bad for you.”

“No they’re not.” He sat up and turned to his bedside table, opening the drawer and grabbing a bottle of pills. “They’re only bad for you if you take them every night and then take more when they stop working. I don’t take them every night. You sure you don’t want any?”

Kyle shook his head as he watched him put two pills in his mouth and swallow them with some water. “Whatever,” Stan said, laying back down and turning the light off.

About twenty minutes passed, and Stan remembered the way Kyle put his arms around him in the car. He wanted Kyle to do it again, but didn’t want to seem needy, even if he definitely  _ was  _ needy… “Hey, Kyle. Are you awake?” Stan whispered, turning on his side. He didn’t want to wake Kyle up if he was already asleep, and if that was the case, he could wrap an arm around Kyle’s waist and pretend it was the same thing…

“Hm?” Kyle hummed. He heard the blankets rustling, the mattress squeaking softly, and he knew Kyle was turned on his side too, facing Stan, even if they couldn’t see each other. “What is it?”

“...This is gonna sound stupid.”

“So? What is it?”

“Uh. Can you, like… hold me? Like you did in the car?”

Smiling, Kyle scooted forward on the mattress and put his arm around Stan once again. “Sure. I hope you feel better, dude.”

“Thanks.” Stan paused, and after a while, said, “This is really gay.”

“No it’s not. I bet Kenny and Butters do this all the time.”

“Kyle. They’re gay.”

Kyle shook his head, but then remembered that Stan couldn’t see him. “No they’re not.”

“Yes, they are.” Stan shoved him in the arm, but pulled him closer when Kyle started to move away. “Don’t leave.”

“Fine.”

“Promise you won’t leave?”

Kyle smiled again, grateful for the fact that the darkness concealed how badly he was blushing. “Yeah. Promise, dude, I won’t.”

“Good.”

-

Aside from the fact that Stan woke up once every two hours, looked around his bedroom, pulled Kyle closer, and quickly fell back asleep, Stan slept like a baby. With Kyle’s arm around him, everything felt better- the sheets were softer, the comforter wasn’t as heavy, the entire bed sucked him deeper and deeper. By the time he woke up, the only thing that convinced him to leave was his full bladder.

It was a rare occurrence for Stan to wake up before Kyle did. When he got back from the bathroom, he gently opened the door and leaned on the door frame, watching Kyle sleep.  _ This isn’t creepy,  _ he told himself.  _ He’s just sleeping, and I think he’s cute. And he’s in my bed, anyway. I’m allowed to watch him sleep. _

But then it hit him. His father was in some hospital in Breckenridge, and his mom had probably cried herself to sleep, all alone in that huge bedroom of hers. It was okay, though. That’s what Kyle promised him. Randy was alive, and he probably fell asleep last night watching that stupid cooking channel on the hospital TV, even if he grew out of that hobby a long time ago. Or maybe he fell asleep to something else, like the news, or Family Guy, or maybe he didn’t watch TV at all and fell asleep when the nurses put him out. Randy was awake now, and the nurses were bringing him breakfast, maybe eggs and grits or toast with jam and fluffy pancakes. After that, he would wash it down with some pulpy orange juice or 2% milk.

Or he was dead.

If Randy died, though, his mom would’ve told him. Right? She would’ve crept into his room and shook him and Kyle awake and told him that the hospital called, and that his father died, and the three of them would’ve cried and talked about how good of a person he was. Or maybe Kyle wouldn’t cry, but he’d be there to comfort Stan anyway.

He left Kyle alone in his bedroom and stepped into the hallway, pushing Sharon’s half-cracked door all the way open. “Mom?”

Sharon was sitting on her bed, her legs crossed and covered with a blanket that his grandma knitted her for Christmas, the last Christmas before she passed away. She had a coffee cup in her hands, resting in her lap. “Hi, Stanley.”

Stan stepped closer, studying her face, the way her bangs just avoided covering her eyes, the way her eyebrows slanted above the bridge of her nose. “Hey, Mom.” He carefully sat on the edge of her bed, taking in the fact that the whites around her eyes weren’t red or bloodshot. A good sign. No tear trails streaking down her face. And her hair actually looked… kempt.

The TV was on, and it was turned to Fox News, although Stan had a sneaking suspicion Sharon wasn’t actually watching TV because both his mom and dad were die-hard liberals and knew that Fox News was full of shit. “Did he call?” Stan asked, concern in his voice, even if there shouldn’t have been.

“Yep. He called, and the doctors did too. The doctor said he’s doing very well, he might be able to get out early, actually.” She paused to set her coffee cup down on her nightstand. “He says he loves you.”

Stan nodded, taking in that information. “Does Shelly know yet?” Shelly was spending the night with a girl in her grade when it happened- or at least that’s what Sharon thought. Stan knew she was with her boyfriend, but he wasn’t going to rat on her. They had an agreement.

“I called her. She’s coming home at 11 today, Julia is going to drop her off here. She took the news well, I think.”

“Good.” Stan turned back to the TV, but then regretted it, because Ben Shapiro was having one of his “debates”. Cartman always used Ben Shapiro as an example to prove that conservatism wasn’t “against minorities” because Shapiro was Jewish, and asked Kyle why he wasn’t more like Ben. Kyle always told Cartman that Ben was a self-hating Jew who was full of shit. Stan tried to ignore those conversations as much as possible, but he ended up taking Kyle’s side every time when Cartman got out of hand. “Well, I’m gonna go talk to Kyle. Bye Mom.”

“You boys are so cute,” she smiled, picking up the remote and changing the channel. “I’m glad you have such a caring friend.”

Stan stood up. “Uh, okay.”

“I know it seems embarrassing, but I’m serious. I never had good friends like Kyle and Kenny when I was in high school. You boys… try to have fun.”

His face reddened with embarrassment, Stan nodded and went back to his room. When he returned, Kyle was awake, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. His curly hair was a tangled mess.

Stan watched and smiled fondly at the sight. He kept staring, taking note of the way the extra fabric from the shirt he lent Kyle dangled from his skinny arms. Kyle looked slender and tall, but he knew from experience that Kyle had some muscle on him. His punches hit hard- sometimes even the playful ones hurt like a bitch.

“...Hey,” Stan said. 

Kyle stopped furiously rubbing his eyes and let his arms drop down onto his lap. “Hey, dude. You hear from your dad yet?”

“No, but he called my mom sometime last night. He’s doing good. Doctors are saying they’re gonna let him out early,” he explained, sitting back down on the bed.

Stan must’ve been pleading with his eyes, because Kyle leaned forward and put his arms around Stan again. “That’s good. Really good. I told you everything was going to be fine.”

Nodding, Stan hugged back, and without thinking started to pull Kyle onto his lap. At first Kyle didn’t struggle or object, but once he realized what Stan was doing, Kyle gave him a horrified look.

_ I’m an idiot.  _ “Hah, shit, sorry Kyle,” Stan said, his face once again reddened with embarrassment. But neither of them moved, and Kyle was halfway settled onto Stan’s right thigh.

“What the fuck,” Kyle spoke, still unmoving.

“You can get off, you know. I don’t know why I did that. I said I was sorry.”

Kyle readjusted his grip on Stan. “No. Sorry, I didn’t expect that. It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not okay. This is weird, man.”

“But you wanted it,” Kyle reminded him.

He was right. Stan did want it, even if he didn’t know what he was doing when he pulled Kyle up. “This isn’t weird,” Kyle spoke again. “It’s not sexual.”

“Okay. Fine. It’s not weird.” He looked up and met Kyle’s gaze, and couldn’t help but smile. “Thanks for being here for me… like, all the time.”

Butterflies stirred in Stan’s gut when Kyle smiled back. “Of course.”

“What are you fags doing?” Shelly said from the hallway. Ever since she had her braces and headgear taken off, she actually started to be  _ more  _ aggressive.

“Shelly Marsh! Watch your language in the house!” Sharon shouted from the other room.

Shelly rolled her eyes. “You guys can at least make out with the door closed next time.”

“We weren’t-” Stan protested, but she was already gone.

-

“God dammit! Stan, Kyle? Get dressed.”

“What, Mom?” Stan asked, standing up and throwing a pair of joggers on. “Is he okay?”

Sharon shook her head, watching Kyle as he slipped his shoes on and grabbed a jacket. “Your father is an idiot. He went ahead and checked himself out of the hospital, and now we have to go pick him up.” She sighed again. “I’ll have to take off from work to take care of him this week.” She left Stan’s bedroom and descended the stairs, her car keys dangling and jingling in her fingers.

“Why the hell would he do that?” Stan muttered, mostly to himself as he pulled his socks on.

Kyle shrugged. “You know how he is.” Kyle put his phone in his pocket. “They said he was doing good, maybe that got to his head or something.”

As he started tying his shoes, Stan nodded. Kyle was probably right, and it sounded like something Randy would do anyway. The four of them went downstairs and got into the car after Sharon nagged Shelly to put her shoes on. Shelly sat in the passenger's seat, and Stan and Kyle sat in the back again.

“You need to get in the back when we pick him up. He gets motion sickness if he’s in the back.. you know that, Shelly.”

Shelly didn’t look up from her phone, rapidly texting someone. “Yeah, Mom! I knooow! I just don’t want to sit in the back with Stan, he’s gay.”

He saw Sharon roll her eyes from the rearview mirror. “Stan had a girlfriend in middle school. Wendy, right?”

“He’s gay for Kyle,” Shelly went on.

Kyle’s face heated up. “He is not!”

“Dude, it’s okay. She’s just trying to piss us off,” he said, his seatbelt rubbing up against his neck as he turned to look at Kyle.

Shelly kept texting, making small clicking sounds as she hit the letters on her keyboard. Finally she set the phone down on her lap. “I see the way you two look at each other all the time. It’s gay.”

“Shelly, stop that!” Sharon snapped.

“Yeah! Stan isn’t fucking gay!” Kyle added, before frowning and slouching in his seat. “Sorry, Mrs. Marsh.” Stan reached out and put a hand on Kyle’s bicep.

Sharon kept her eyes on the road. “It’s okay, Kyle. And you don’t have to call me that anymore.”

“Oh, so it’s okay if he cusses, but not me?” Shelly muttered, picking her phone up again. “Whatever, Mom.”

“That’s for Sheila and Gerald to deal with. He’s not my kid, I can’t punish him for cussing.”

Stan tuned the conversation out, watching the houses fly by as he let his head rest against the cool frosted window. At least Kyle was convinced that he wasn’t gay and didn’t like him. He wasn’t sure what he would do if Kyle somehow found out.

-

“Hey, guys,” Randy said once Shelly left the passenger’s seat and sat next to Kyle in the back. He sat down and slammed the door shut, buckling his seatbelt. He had a pair of tubes up his nose and a tank of oxygen in his right hand. He let it sit between his feet on the floorboard.

“Hey Dad.”

Sharon glared at him, her eyebrows furrowed. “Explain to me why you decided to check yourself out early, even though the doctors recommended you stay for at least four days.”

“Well, they said I would be okay if I did it! Gaww…” he muttered, looking down at his legs. “It was just one heart attack, Sharon. You think I want to pay the hospital an entire week to just sit there and do nothing, while they monitor all of the stupid shit like my heartbeat? I’ll be okay on my own.”

He could see Kyle tensing up, and immediately knew how awkward he felt, having to sit there and listen to someone else’s family drama. Stan pulled out his phone and texted him.

**_Stan: its ok dude hes always like this_ **

**_Stan: u know that lol_ **

“What do you mean, ‘sit there and do nothing’? That’s exactly what you’re going to do when you get home! You’re not going to work anytime soon, it’s bad for your heart. I already called and took off work so I could take care of you, so don’t make any big plans. And- Randy! Are you even listening to me?” she asked, smacking his leg. “They’re supposed to make sure you don’t have another one! We could’ve paid for the hospital bill, we have insurance!”

“Mom, I don’t think yelling at him will make anything better,” Stan advised, but it was obvious neither of them were listening. He nudged Kyle. “Check your phone.”

Sharon shook her head. “Checking himself out of the hospital when he had a heart attack doesn’t make anything better, either!” She turned the key in the engine and started the car, pulling out of the parking lot.

Kyle was staring down at his phone and smiling.

**_Kyle: Yeah but it’s still weird. Feel like I shouldn’t be here._ **

**_Stan: but i need u_ **

Stan watched the grin on Kyle’s face grow wider, and immediately felt churning in his stomach.  _ He  _ made Kyle smile like that. Nobody else.

**_Kyle: Thanks_ **

**_Kyle: ...You’re the best_ **

**_Stan: actually its you_ **

**_Stan: im so glad i have you like i probably wouldve cried all night if u werent there_ **

**_Kyle: Aw_ **

**_Kyle: I’m sorry_ **

**_Kyle: At least you feel better now right?? And he’s doing good_ **

**_Stan: even if he is still dumb_ **

**_Stan: yes i feel better_ **

The two of them turned and made eye contact with each other. Kyle smiled first, and then Stan, which made Kyle smile wider.

**_Kyle: Good!!_ **

**_Kyle: I’m happy for you dude_ **

**_Stan: question_ **

**_Kyle: ?_ **

**_Stan: can um we cuddle more when we get home …_ **

**_Stan: i know its weird but like_ **

**_Kyle: We can_ **

**_Stan: youre so warm and soft idk_ **

**_Stan: oh ok good_ **

Stan let his head rest against the window again, trying to hide how hard he was blushing. Seriously, he shouldn’t be so easily flushed from only texting Kyle, but he had been embarrassed to ask if they could cuddle. But at least he said yes.

He grinned wider, thinking of kicking his shoes off and laying in bed next to his long time best friend. Super best friend. His crush.

-

Kyle and Stan laid in bed, back in their pajamas and socks, arms lazily draped around each other and legs tangled together as they watched  _ American Horror Story  _ on Netflix.

“..Stan.”

He turned to meet Kyle’s eyes, confused when he noticed that Kyle looked.. concerned. “Yeah dude? You okay?”

“I’m good. I have a question.” Kyle let his head fall back on the pillow, now staring at the ceiling. “Are you gay? Sorry if it’s like, abrupt or whatever, but I was thinking about what Shelly said in the car and it… made sense. That you were gay. I mean, you’re probably not, but if you are it’s cool. I mean, I’m fine with it. I won’t be mad.” Stan saw Kyle’s cheeks heat up from his rambling, and eventually Kyle turned back to look at him. “Ah, sorry,” he mumbled, grinning. “You don’t have to answer.”

His mouth gaped for a moment. Stan expected this, knowing at some point Kyle (or someone else) would have questions, but not.. now. Not so soon. He hadn’t planned for this- what was he supposed to say?

Kyle must’ve sensed his hesitation, because he shook his head. “It’s okay. I’ve suspected it for a while now. You don’t need to say anything.”

“...I’m not,” he managed to get out. 

“Don’t lie,” Kyle said, a small smirk curling on his lips. “I can tell when you’re lying. I’m not mad. Nobody else will know except me.”

Surprisingly, Stan decided to go along with this. If Kyle already had him figured out, and knew his nervous tics, what was the point of denying it? Plus- Kyle wasn’t mad. That was the best part. He actually seemed  _ happy  _ that Stan was gay.

“So what if I am? Why do you need to know?”

Kyle shrugged. “Do you like anyone?”

“No, dude. Everyone in South Park sucks.”

“...You sure?”

He paused in his tracks. Did Kyle know? Or was he “suspecting” like he mentioned earlier?

Was it time to confess his feelings for Kyle? Would Kyle hate him for it?

“Stan, I like guys too,” Kyle admitted. “So you’re not alone, okay?”

Stan’s eyes widened. He always daydreamed about this moment, but in his mind it was always Stan himself that confessed first. Kyle never took the lead in these scenarios. But somehow, it was better this way. He had no clue what he was doing, and would probably fuck it up if it was left to him, but Kyle was here to set it straight. 

Then it hit him. Kyle liked guys, he had a chance. He really did. And it seemed like things were going in that direction, too.

He pressed himself closer to Kyle. “That’s good. Cool, I mean, cool. Do you like anyone?” he asked, trying to be subtle- but it wasn’t working.

“I dunno,” Kyle answered, smiling. “Maybe.”

Stan chewed on his bottom lip as he thought. Was it better to be direct? “Maybe?”

“Yeah… okay. I like someone.”

Stan wished he could take a break from the conversation, but not only would that make the situation weird, it would make Kyle suspicious. So he kept going. “I do too. Sorry, I lied. Uh, who do you like?”

“You tell me first,” Kyle whispered, still smiling. He reached out and poked Stan in the side. “You brought it up.”

“I asked first, you tell me first. You can tell me anything, dude, I’ll keep it a secret.” Was he an idiot for not knowing? Was it him, or were the signs there that it was obviously someone else? What if Kyle wasn’t interested in him at all, and instead had a crush on Craig, or Kenny, or Token, or…

Kyle broke away from Stan, reaching down under the covers to scratch his leg. “I’m not telling you. It’s embarrassing.”

“Kyle, I promise, whoever it is, it’s not embarrassing. You’re really picky anyway, it’s not like you have a crush on Butters or Cartman or something.” Stan paused in realization. “Unless you do?”

He grinned. “No. Not Cartman or Butters. Not that embarrassing, but I still don’t wanna tell you. But maybe I’ll give you a hint if you tell me who you like.”

“No.”

“Okay,” Kyle said teasingly, laying back down on the bed and reaching up to fix his hair. “Then I’m not saying anything. You’ll never know.”

Fuck. “What if I give you a hint and you give me a hint? Would that be okay?”

“...Sure. My hint is that, uh, he’s in our grade.”

Stan glared at him. “You have to be more specific than that, Kyle.” But knowing that Kyle liked someone- a  _ boy-  _ in his grade narrowed the possibilities a lot. There were fourteen boys in his class, and subtracting Cartman and Butters only made twelve, not including Kyle himself.

“No, that’s my hint. That can be yours, too, if you want.” He looked back at the TV.

“Fine. That’s my hint too, they’re in our grade. Is that all?”

Kyle nodded absentmindedly, sitting up again, still focused on the TV. Stan wanted to keep talking about it, but of course, there was no way to get the answer out of Kyle if he didn’t reveal a little bit himself. “If I give you another hint, will you give me one?”

“Sure. He’s white.”

“...More than that. That only cancels out Token.” Kyle really was being difficult with this, wasn’t he? Stan sat up too, poking him in the arm to get his attention.

Then he realized that there was no reason for Kyle to not trust him. In elementary and middle school, they talked about what girls they thought were cute without a second thought. He felt a sudden reassurance that Kyle liked him. It had to be him. If it wasn’t him, why would Kyle be so hesitant to reveal who it was? 

Kyle made eye contact with him. “Fine… he’s hot.”

“Okay. Better. That cancels out Scott Malkinson, Clyde, me, Timmy, Tweek, the two goth dudes, and Kevin Stoley. It’s Kenny, right?”

“Oh my god, Stan,” Kyle grinned, leaning forward and resting his forehead on Stan’s chest. “You think Jimmy and Craig are hot?”

“...Well, I’m just talking about who you might think is not hot. Jimmy isn’t-”

Kyle laughed and pulled away. “Plenty of people think you and Clyde are hot. Craig thinks Tweek is hot. You can’t just cancel out half the class like that.”

He was starting to get frustrated. Couldn’t Kyle just give him a name? (...Preferably his own?) “Well, it’s not my fault that you gave me a subjective hint.”

“Okay. Kenny, Craig, you, and Token are hot. Subjectively.”

Stan shook his head. “I’m not hot,” he muttered, trying to hide his excitement. Without Token, he only had two other guys left that Kyle could possibly like. And Kyle always pushed Kenny away when Kenny tried flirting, so…?

“You are,” Kyle muttered, sounding agitated. “God.” He looked back at the TV.

He had the feeling that Kyle was only trying to end the conversation because he was coming closer to revealing that it was- actually- Stan.

The show was still on, and Stan still had absolutely no clue how to approach this. There was still a sliver of a chance that Kyle liked Craig or Kenny. If he came out and said,  _ hey Kyle, I like you too,  _ their friendship would be ruined.

“..Kyle…?”

“What?” he snapped, turning around again to meet Stan’s eyes.

“Is it me?” Stan whispered, visibly nervous and insecure.

Kyle crossed his arms. “Yeah. It’s you. It was you since 6th grade.” Standing up, Kyle slipped his shoes on. “I’m going home.”

“Dude? I uh… don’t go home, okay? I like you too. Sit down.”

He paused in his tracks, parting his lips slightly and narrowing his eyes at Stan. “Are you sure? You don’t just have to say it to get me to stay. Be honest.”

“Yes, dude! I like you, you’re really cute, Ky. I promise I do,” he admitted. “You said you liked me since 6th grade?”

Kyle sat back down and kicked his shoes off. “...Yes?”

“That’s a really long time to keep it a secret.”

Nodding, Kyle moved closer to him. “It was fucking hard. At least you were oblivious until now.”

Stan smiled, wanting to ask if Kyle would date him, but unsure if that was going too far. “I know, I’m a fucking idiot. Uh, so. What now?” He felt useless for having Kyle make all of the moves and decisions, but he was scared of fucking something up. So scared. 

“We date? Unless you wanna take it slow?” he suggested, grabbing Stan’s hand. “This okay?”

“...It’s good. Really good. Um. Sorry. We can… date.”

Kyle let go of his hand and frowned. “Don’t force yourself. I can tell you’re not into this.”

And there it was- Stan fucking things up all over again. “No! I want to, I really do, I just don’t know how slow or fast you want to take this. And I don’t want to fuck anything up and make you hate or break up with me. Can you just…” he trailed off, unsure what he wanted to say in the first place.  _ Can you do all of the work in the relationship, Kyle, because I’m so fucking useless that I can’t even manage to complete my sentences? _

“You won’t fuck anything up. Just don’t cheat on me. That’s all.” Kyle took his hand again, rubbing the back of Stan’s with his thumb. “It’s okay to be nervous, um… it proves you really like me,” he smiled. “We can go as fast or as slow as you want.”

“...Okay.”

“And you can tell whoever you want. If you want other people to know, then… it’s okay. With me, I mean. I won’t be mad.”

“Okay. Um, that’s… good, dude. Thanks.” Stan squeezed Kyle’s hand, taking a deep breath.

Kyle smiled for probably the millionth time that day. “You’re so cute, Stan.”

Unable to help himself, he smiled back. “You’re the cute one. I didn’t even do anything that cute… hey, so, is there anything I need to know? Um… since we’re dating, is there anything you’re not okay with me doing? I don’t wanna… fuck up. Oh god, I already said that… yeah, but.. I’m talking too much. I’m gonna shut up.”

“I already said don’t cheat on me and you’ll be okay,” Kyle reassured him. “I promise, there’s nothing else in the world that could make me hate you. You wouldn’t do anything to fuck this up. Not on purpose. I know you wouldn’t.”

Stan’s arms and chest were suddenly heavy. “Thank you.”

“This might be too soon, but I love you, Stan. I really do.” Kyle pressed himself closer to Stan. “You don’t need to say it back.”

“...I do love you, though. I’m sure.”

Kyle smiled brighter than he had all day. “You want to cuddle again?”

The two of them laid down again, putting their arms back around each other and staring at each other silently. Stan let his eyes go out of focus, Kyle’s red hair and freckles becoming a blur as he started to worry about all of the things that normally happened in a relationship. Kissing. Telling other people. Sex. Eventually breaking up, or getting married. Moving in together.

He was comforted by the fact that he didn’t have to face any of that right now. Most of those things were far in the future, and he wouldn’t have to go through them alone. He had Kyle now, and hopefully forever.

**Author's Note:**

> song title is from aesop rock (the artist, not me lol)


End file.
